i think about breakfast before i even go to bed this is why im fat
(via holdmypoodles)
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
(via holdmypoodles)
MY MOM FED ME COOKIES WITH MILK IM GONNA SHIT UP A FUCKING STORM WHY CANT SHE DO ANYTHING RIGHT
OH MY GOD
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER
GIVING YOU COOKIES AND MILK
ARREST HER
IM LACTOSE INTOLERANT YOU PIECE OF TRASH I LITERALLY MEANT IM GOING TO SHIT UP A FUCKING STORM
(Source: growlithed, via ashleyisgolden)